How Do I Date as an Entrepreneur? - My Thoughts and Experience
Hey everybody. So I just kinda wanted to add on to what I was saying earlier on Facebook about dating. First of all, I think it's very interesting that I'm even being asked this question about how do you date successfully when you're a mother you're an entrepreneur, you're this and that. And being sought after to render advice in that space 'cause frankly, I have not the foggiest clue.
First of all, personally many of you know that I lost my beloved almost five years ago now. And so several years after that I thought I was ready to start dating. I went back into the dating space and it was a complete disaster. I didn't walk away from dating, I bolted. I like ran away from the dating space. Clearly, I have no clue what I'm doing here. So I find it very ironic that every week, I am being asked like hey, Constance, what is your thoughts on dating and how do you balance dating and family and all this, I'm like, I don't know!
Because I have been repeatedly asked that question, I stopped and I actually thought about it and I've actually spent weeks thinking about this and this is what I think.
If you run a business or you're part of an organization, that organization has a set of a mission statement, a value statement and maybe a list of core values. This is a belief system that the organization wants its employees to rally against. So thereby moving their agenda on that organization forward in a very clear, precise way. Value statements is this is who we are and this is who we want to be and these are the value statements which are the commitments that we're making to our employees and we're making to our customers, right?
So core values, these are the way we do things and this is why…
My former coach but friend, Marissa and I spent weeks crafting the mission, vision and value statements for not only ITH Staffing but also for Meet Constance. So for ITH Staffing, our core values are centered around integrity, responsiveness, trust, respect. For Meet Constance, it's about empowerment, mastery, community. So, it dawned on me just like you take time to craft a beautiful core value statements and words that are in line with the soul of your organization, you should probably do the same thing when it comes to dating.
Let me explain. For me, words are extremely important. Words are so important to me I believe life and death is in the tongue. I am so hypersensitive when it comes to words. Like I may go off on somebody but I won't say things like “your stupid, your dumb, your this or that.” I don't say things like that because I am creating a new agreement for that person and a belief system for that person that they may not have held before. It's a strong core value of mine. Another one is service, service to humanity. That's why we have ITH charities. It's a platform for us to be able to impact not only our needed community but global impact is so important to me, right. These are my core values, the things that I really believe.
So I think that when it comes to dating, the issue is not understanding, I think at least now I know for myself is not understanding clearly and defining what are my core values? Who is Constance really? Who are you really?
…And being able to articulate that in a way that now, when you're out there dating, you can attract people who are in alignment with your core values. Because if you're not clear on who your core and what your core values are, you're not clear on who you are. And if you're not clear on who you are, how will you attract the right person for you? It's just impossible, right? So, I would think after thinking about this, that it would be important to come up with a set of core beliefs and core value statements or words that say “This is who I am and this is what I believe.” Right?
I haven't said anything about money. But money is important. However, I don't think if factors into the equation at the beginning and this is why.
Once I know my core values and who I am, chances are whoever I attract will have the same kind of core values. Things like money, things like vacations, things like family, habits, all these kinda things will resolve themselves because you're in alignment within a core set of fundamental principles. So you understand that this person may be here today but they have the potential of being there tomorrow.
Now after you have your core values figured out (this is a recruiter in me), you create a set of questions. let's just say interview questions, behavioral, situational, you know what I mean. But you answer these questions to yourself as you get to know and evaluate this person and if they meet these values. I'm not saying that you go on a date, you get out your your interview sheet and say "Before we proceed on this date, I have a series of situation on behavioral questions that I need to ask." Okay that's probably not going to work. I think you understand what I'm saying and is that once you identify who you are to your core and then you find a way of evaluating that through time.
That is basically my take on the question. There are a ton of people who are really good at giving folks tips on how to date and how to go about it. If you’re an expert, please comment below and help all these wonderful ladies who are coming to me, asking me dating questions. We need some help.
So to the experts out there, let's talk about this. How do you go about evaluating the right person for you that will align with who you are to your core? Someone who will give you a sense of meaning and purpose and how do you do that while you balance out a career, as an entrepreneur, a single mom? So comment below. Let's get this conversation started and let's help other young women who are trying to find the right one. Do that whole, do it whole. I'll talk to you guys later, bye.
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Hello! I’m Constance Moonzwe. Subscribe for my business tips and my entrepreneurial journey. Learn more about me at www.MeetConstance.com
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