Habit 4 - Think Win Win
THE 7 HABITS OF HIGHLY EFFECTIVE PEOPLE
HABIT 4: THINK WIN-WIN
THE PRINCIPLES OF INTERPERSONAL LEADERSHIP
“IT’S NOT YOUR WAY OR MY WAY; IT’S A BETTER WAY, A HIGHER WAY” STEPHEN R. COVEY
According to Dr. Covey Think Win-Win isn't about being nice, nor is it a quick-fix technique. It is a character-based code for human interaction and collaboration. It is a total philosophy of human interaction.
Most of us learn to base our self-worth on comparisons and competition. We think about succeeding in terms of someone else failing-- that is, if I win, you lose; or if you win, I lose. Life becomes a zero-sum game. There is only so much pie to go around, and if you get a big piece, there is less for me; it's not fair, and I'm going to make sure you don't get anymore. We all play the game, but how much fun is it really?
Win-win sees life as a cooperative arena, not a competitive one. Win-win is a frame of mind and heart that constantly seeks mutual benefit in all human interactions. Win-win means agreements or solutions are mutually beneficial and satisfying. We both get to eat the pie, and it tastes pretty darn good!
A person or organization that approaches conflicts with a win-win attitude possesses three vital character traits:
1. Integrity: sticking with your true feelings, values, and commitments. It is the value we place on ourselves
2. Maturity: expressing your ideas and feelings with courage and consideration for the ideas and
feelings of others. Courage focuses on getting the golden egg, consideration deals with the long term welfare of the other stakeholders.
3. Abundance Mentality: believing there is plenty for everyone. Abundance mentality, flows out of a deep inner sense of personal worth and security.
Many people think in terms of either/or: either you're nice or you're tough. Win-win requires that you be both. It is a balancing act between courage and consideration. To go for win-win, you not only have to be empathic, but you also have to be confident. You not only have to be considerate and sensitive, you also have to be brave. To do that-- to achieve that balance between courage and consideration-- is the essence of real maturity and is fundamental to win-win.
Make a list of obstacles that keep you from applying the Win/Win paradigm more frequently.
Determine what could be done within your circle of influence to eliminate some of those obstacles.